Needs

Sometimes I watch Elliott playing on the floor or smiling up at his mobile in his crib and I get overwhelmed with emotion. I am proud and so in love with the little boy that grows and changes everyday. When he looks back at me he smiles. He lets me know that he is safe and happy. That he has everything he needs. But then there are times where he cries. His little face turns red and tiny tears spill from his eyes. He needs me. Needs something that only I can give him right now. Maybe it's just to be held, maybe it's the comfort of nursing, or to eat. My role is giver and I do my best to always figure out just what he needs. Today Elliott reminded me of my role when I stood over him playing with my mom on the couch. He turned and looked up into my eyes. Smiled, and began rooting against my arm. Next thing I knew he was sucking on my arm. Trying to latch on to eat. Not knowing he was in the complete wrong place, all he knew was I was there and he needed me. He didn't care in that moment that it was my arm he was sucking on and not the nipple that he really wanted. Just knew I was mommy and mommy gives food, support, love, and comfort. What he doesn't know is how much he gives me. Fulfills a need, a very special and amazing piece of my heart and soul.